We have all been there, you get the monthly credit card statement, or you have a quick check on your banking app, and there is a random charge for $399. First thought…. the credit card has been hacked, what a pain in the bum. This means changing all of your direct debits, dealing with banks and insurers. You then have a closer look, and after Googling the shop, you realise that it is a women’s fashion chain or worse your husband has just been to Dan Murphys or Bunnings. Great, the Credit Card hasn’t been hacked, our wallet has been by the latest special at Target, Bunnings, Uncle Dans, Cotton On or any other array of impulse purchases. You shout significant others name from where you are seated. Not necessarily in anger…. but more a questioning nature, “”why did you spend the best part of $400, on you, wine, power tools, the kids, or the dog?”
You are not alone in this confusion or frustration.
In 2018 TD Bank completed a survey which identified that 1 in 3 couples whether they are married or not fight over money monthly.
How do you prevent this?
4 Ways to get your partner to stop spending money:
1. Start with WHY
Budgeting sucks, we all know that. No one likes the idea of saying that we only have X dollars to spend on going out this weekend. Intentional spending is entirely different. Changing spending habits is not about going without, it is about making active choices on how you spend your money. How good would it be if the mortgage was paid off? Would you both love to make a three month trip around Australia or take the kids to Disneyland? Setting targets together and getting on the same page is a much easier way to have a conversation about money, rather than complaining that someone is spending too much and starting an argument, because no one is going to win there. Having a why means that people are invested and they want to change their spending habits for a higher purpose.
2. Find the financial black holes
Most clients we work with have financial black holes where the money magically disappears. Maybe it is the Stan, or Netflix subscription that no longer gets used, or the standard gym membership which you haven’t been to in 2 years? Maybe it is time you re-examined your insurance costs, and what it covers? These are a great way to start a conversation with your partner because if they are not getting used; then it is a simple neutral saving.
3. Look at your spending habits
There is an old saying that when you point the finger at someone, you have four pointing back at you. Blokes, do you need that latest power tool, when three others in the shed will probably do the job. Do you need season tickets to your favourite sporting team if you are on getting to 3 or 4 games a season? Ladies, do you really need another pair of heels? Relationships are about compromise. You can not expect your significant other to give up some luxuries if you are not willing to as well.
4. Allocate pocket money every fortnight or month
There is nothing like guilt-free spending. Have a discussion with your partner about what is reasonable pocket money and put it in separate personal accounts. This will then be your own private money, and the other party cannot criticise how it is spent. If they don’t want to spend their money this week excellent, I am sure there is something which they will save up for. This is an easy adjustment that allows each individual to have their own financial space and will enable them to have some financial independence. It’s a way of having your cake and eating it too. Everyone knows that if you crash diet it is not likely to work, however if you look towards your goals and allow yourself occasional treats, then it is much more likely to work in the long term.
Are you struggling to persuade your spouse to stop spending so much money?
Schedule a free 15-minute call with me to see if financial coaching would be a right solution for you and your partner.
